PAM MILLICAN
Sometimes when we hold on too tight to material things, or the wrong people that are not in our best interests, something happens to make you let go. It can be a disaster, a rejection, a deceit or even a massive calamity of some other sort. Take me for example, I was living with my abusive family, being beaten regularly, told I would never amount to anything and sexually assaulted regularly by my mother’s brother. I went to school one day only to come home and find my mother and sister had left – gone where, I did not know, nor did I find out for many years.
6 months later I came home from a holiday I had been on with a friend’s family, only to be greeted by a completely empty house, both my father and brother gone now too. I was completely abandoned by everyone and I was only 15.1/2 years old and still going to school! Now, while the environment I was living in was toxic and harmful, I may have stayed there for a lot longer and suffered a lot more damage to my self worth and confidence had I not been forced to live elsewhere by the abandonment.
If I believe that there is a greater plan, that everything is connected and I was meant for greater and better things, then I have nothing to fear and everything to gain if I choose to look at this way. But if my desire to move on is stifled because of fear, I will stay put even though I am not happy. This, I truly believe, is when the universe will step in, shake it all up and leave you with little to no choice. Which is exactly what happened. Staring at an empty house knowing that everything I owned had gone, I had no option but to move on. I don’t know why I was the only one left out, or unwanted but I did know I was a good kid. A good person who always tried hard and helped others.
What did I do, short story, I picked myself up, dusted Myself off and got on with my life determined to not let this define me. Now I might never have grown into the strong independent woman that I am proud of today, if I had continued on that path and been allowed to stay. We learn something from everything and when we understand that Life happens FOR US not TO US we can turn that adversity around and grow from it. We need challenges to make us move otherwise we get complacent.
So my wisdom to you is to look at adversity as a nudge from the universe, saying “hey listen up” you have a growth period coming up and it’s not going to be pretty or easy but I promise it will be worth it”.
Taken from my autobiography which is in edit mode as I write this. More soon
Pam Millican
Using adversity as a signal for growth, crushing self doubt and growing into confidence as the best version of you.
I am a 59 year old woman who lives life on her own terms. I see challenges as opportunities for change and have used pain and adversity for positive growth. I was born into abuse, poverty and complete abandonment at 15.1/2 and have used that to motivate and drive me to achieve my dreams and help others do the same.