Life Continues to Teach Me

After Saturday’s competition, where I scored 34 Stableford points despite a couple of wipes and some very average holes, I had an experience that gave me another little aha moment.

I was introduced to someone involved in a charity that runs golf events to raise money for children who need support.

I mentioned that I’d love to volunteer.

I explained that I’m a mindset coach and that I work with self regulation, NLP, EFT and helping people change the way they think and respond.

He shut me down.

Very quickly.

He told me they were extremely selective about who they allowed into the charity. They were already full. They had their own people.

He then explained that they were all breath-workers and essentially had everything they needed.

It wasn’t the fact that he said no that stayed with me.

It was the arrogance of the judgement.

He hadn’t asked me what I actually do.

He hadn’t heard about my experience.

He hadn’t heard how I work or the difference I’ve made for people.

He had simply decided, very quickly, that I had nothing to offer.

And here’s the part that made me smile afterwards.

It didn’t upset me.

It didn’t make me question myself.

It didn’t make me feel rejected.

I had a fleeting thought of…

“Well… what an arrogant asshole.” 😂

And then I forgot about it.

Later that night I mentioned it to my partner, who was considerably more outraged than I was.

I actually had to calm him down and say:

“It’s okay. I really don’t care. There are plenty of other places where what I have to offer can make a difference.”

And here again, I realised something.

I know who I am.

I know how I work.

I know what I know.

And I know the difference I can make.

Someone else’s inability to see that doesn’t diminish it.

And perhaps this is another layer of what I’ve been learning on the golf course.

I’m learning to stay in my own lane.

To stop looking sideways.

To stop allowing someone else’s score, opinion or reaction to determine how I feel about my own game.

And now I’m noticing I’m doing the same thing off the course.

Someone can think they’re better than me.

Someone can decide I have nothing to offer.

Someone can say no.

And I’m still me.

That, for me, is a pretty profound shift.

Because self-belief isn’t necessarily thinking everyone will recognise your value.

It’s knowing your value even when they don’t.

And maybe that’s what I’ve been digging for all along.

Not confidence.

Not validation.

Certainty.

A certainty that doesn’t need permission.

A certainty that doesn’t need to be explained.

A certainty beyond logic.

And honestly…

I’m rather enjoying discovering this version of me.